Handle Him Like A Man!

My Dear Friends in the Faith:

The relational struggle continues and believe it or not sisters are complaining like never before. Susan L. Taylor, Chief Editor and syndicated columnist of Essence Magazine chronicled the latest frustrations from women both married and single as it relates to the issue at hand. Here are just some of the things that we have heard sisters say. "Finding a man is a real trip. If they are not married they are crazy, if they are not crazy they are married and if they are not married they are gay." And what about this one, "men are like parking spots at a crowded mall near the shoe store. All of the good spots are taken. The only spots available are handicapped." Surely you have heard this frustration too "men are like computers they cost too much, they are not user-friendly, they speak their own language, reprogramming takes too much time and the only way for you to get them to work is to turn them on." And it would not be a good list without this one because you've heard it before, "you really can't find a saved, hard working, honest man these days they are all just dogs." However, I argue emphatically against such broad statements concerning men. All men are not "all" dogs. The real problem could be how sisters attract a man. There is an old saying that holds true on this wise, "if you don't like the kind of fish that you are catching take the time to change your bait."

There are three reasons why sisters in our culture struggle with good men. Check these out. They are honest even though some of them may be painful.

1. Good Man Recognition - This may be a hard pill to swallow but get a cool glass of water and sip it until the pill is gone. Most women would not recognize a good man if he were in their front yard doing jumping-jacks in a lime green suite and singing Mary had a little lamb in b flat. Sisters are good with recognizing cute, sexy, rich and fine. But, good escapes them en masse.

2. Good Man Reconstruction - Some sisters think that they can take a sorry man and make a good man out of him. It is the craziest thing I have ever seen in my life! But, think about this for a moment. If God has not made a good man out of him before you get to him, what chance do you have of making a good man out of him when you get your hands on him? Please hear this, if God has not done it, you will never do it! No matter how much you train a donkey he will never be a thoroughbred.

3. Good Man Retention - There are times when a sister can have a good man. He loves God, he works, he cares for her, he cares for what is hers, he loves her, he prays for her, he lives to see her smile, and he gives her his soul. But, with all of that on the table there are relational moments when the relationship still fails. Why? Because as quiet as it is kept some sisters do not know how to handle a real man!

Here are a couple of great devotional questions for married and single sisters to ponder as we celebrate Father's Day. If you had a really good man would you know how to handle him? If God gave you a man after His own heart could you keep him? Please hear this today, if there was ever a time that we needed to make our relationships last it is right now. The Bible will be our guide today as we explore several passages that will speak volumes to the relational issues that confront us every day. But, the question is "how should you handle a real man when he is in your presence?"

First of all, stay in your place. No, I am not a sexist and please do not reach for your delete button and trash this devotional. Hear me out. We are learning from talk show hosts that men and women are equals. But, this is NOT true! We are not equals we are opposites. He is male. She is female. He is a man. She is a woman. He is a king and she is a queen. Listen to the Word of God regarding this issue. "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body" (Eph. 5:22-23, KJV). God gave men position. He is the head. And, He gave women influence! A real woman defines her man. She never seeks to take his place. In fact, the first real decision any man will ever make is what kind of a woman he wants. She defines him. And he defines a family and a nation. Remember, men are like kites and women are the like wind. If you do not lift him with your influence he will not soar, so stay in your place.

Secondly, watch what you say to him. All too often sisters nag, complain and talk really crazy to good men and it drives them crazy. Words are like bullets out of a gun. Once you say them they cause a whole lot of damage. If you want to mishandle a man talk crazy to him. The Bible says, "It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawlingwoman in a wide house" (Proverbs 21:9, KJV).

A good man will pass up his house on the way home and skip his house altogether when there is a woman in there who is always talking crazy, raising saying, and giving him the blues. Delilah has been called a "bad girl" of the Bible. But, we can learn some good things from her. One good thing we can learn from her is how to talk to man. If you want to handle a good man, talk to him the right way.

Thirdly, be patient, prayerful and persistent concerning his rough edges. A real man has some rough edges. He may have some habits that he needs to get rid of, he may have some things that he really should stop doing and he may even have some things in his life that are a real trip to deal with But, remember this, he is not a completed project. Here's what the Bible says from the lips of a really good man, the Apostle Paul. He says, "for the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. 20 Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me" (Rom. 7:19-20). Here's some food for thought. When a real woman gets her hands on a real man she can take his rough edges and make something great with them. Peep into the White House right now and you will find Barack Obama. But, look again I say, and what you really should see is what Michelle can do with a hand full of rough edges! Be patient and prayerful with your man.

And, lastly always appeal to his manhood. A real man likes a real woman. There is something about a woman that makes him be what he was created to be when she is in his company. Sarah the matriarch of Abraham knew how to do this well. The Bible says that she "...obeyed Abraham, calling him lord..." (1 Pet. 3:6, KJV). In short, she had a real man and she knew what to do to appeal to his manhood. As a kid growing up we would play basketball all day long. But, when cute girls from the neighborhood showed up to watch us play we played like we was Kobe trying to win a championship for the first time without Shaq! Why? The presence of those girls appealed to our manhood (well manhood in training catch my drift?). In short, if you want a man to be a man you must treat him like a man. Which means this, a sister must be a lady! There's no room for two men in the relationship. If you want him to be what God made him, then you must be what God made you.

Celebrate Our Father with us this Father's Day! And remember, if you have real man in order to keep him you have to know how to handle him!

Your Friend and His Servant,

Dr. John R. Adolph, Pastor