Handle Him Like A Man!

My Dear Friends in the Faith:

The relational struggle continues and believe it or not sisters are complaining like never before. Susan L. Taylor, Chief Editor and syndicated columnist of Essence Magazine chronicled the latest frustrations from women both married and single as it relates to the issue at hand. Here are just some of the things that we have heard sisters say. "Finding a man is a real trip. If they are not married they are crazy, if they are not crazy they are married and if they are not married they are gay." And what about this one, "men are like parking spots at a crowded mall near the shoe store. All of the good spots are taken. The only spots available are handicapped." Surely you have heard this frustration too "men are like computers they cost too much, they are not user-friendly, they speak their own language, reprogramming takes too much time and the only way for you to get them to work is to turn them on." And it would not be a good list without this one because you've heard it before, "you really can't find a saved, hard working, honest man these days they are all just dogs." However, I argue emphatically against such broad statements concerning men. All men are not "all" dogs. The real problem could be how sisters attract a man. There is an old saying that holds true on this wise, "if you don't like the kind of fish that you are catching take the time to change your bait."

There are three reasons why sisters in our culture struggle with good men. Check these out. They are honest even though some of them may be painful.

1. Good Man Recognition - This may be a hard pill to swallow but get a cool glass of water and sip it until the pill is gone. Most women would not recognize a good man if he were in their front yard doing jumping-jacks in a lime green suite and singing Mary had a little lamb in b flat. Sisters are good with recognizing cute, sexy, rich and fine. But, good escapes them en masse.

2. Good Man Reconstruction - Some sisters think that they can take a sorry man and make a good man out of him. It is the craziest thing I have ever seen in my life! But, think about this for a moment. If God has not made a good man out of him before you get to him, what chance do you have of making a good man out of him when you get your hands on him? Please hear this, if God has not done it, you will never do it! No matter how much you train a donkey he will never be a thoroughbred.

3. Good Man Retention - There are times when a sister can have a good man. He loves God, he works, he cares for her, he cares for what is hers, he loves her, he prays for her, he lives to see her smile, and he gives her his soul. But, with all of that on the table there are relational moments when the relationship still fails. Why? Because as quiet as it is kept some sisters do not know how to handle a real man!

Here are a couple of great devotional questions for married and single sisters to ponder as we celebrate Father's Day. If you had a really good man would you know how to handle him? If God gave you a man after His own heart could you keep him? Please hear this today, if there was ever a time that we needed to make our relationships last it is right now. The Bible will be our guide today as we explore several passages that will speak volumes to the relational issues that confront us every day. But, the question is "how should you handle a real man when he is in your presence?"

First of all, stay in your place. No, I am not a sexist and please do not reach for your delete button and trash this devotional. Hear me out. We are learning from talk show hosts that men and women are equals. But, this is NOT true! We are not equals we are opposites. He is male. She is female. He is a man. She is a woman. He is a king and she is a queen. Listen to the Word of God regarding this issue. "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body" (Eph. 5:22-23, KJV). God gave men position. He is the head. And, He gave women influence! A real woman defines her man. She never seeks to take his place. In fact, the first real decision any man will ever make is what kind of a woman he wants. She defines him. And he defines a family and a nation. Remember, men are like kites and women are the like wind. If you do not lift him with your influence he will not soar, so stay in your place.

Secondly, watch what you say to him. All too often sisters nag, complain and talk really crazy to good men and it drives them crazy. Words are like bullets out of a gun. Once you say them they cause a whole lot of damage. If you want to mishandle a man talk crazy to him. The Bible says, "It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawlingwoman in a wide house" (Proverbs 21:9, KJV).

A good man will pass up his house on the way home and skip his house altogether when there is a woman in there who is always talking crazy, raising saying, and giving him the blues. Delilah has been called a "bad girl" of the Bible. But, we can learn some good things from her. One good thing we can learn from her is how to talk to man. If you want to handle a good man, talk to him the right way.

Thirdly, be patient, prayerful and persistent concerning his rough edges. A real man has some rough edges. He may have some habits that he needs to get rid of, he may have some things that he really should stop doing and he may even have some things in his life that are a real trip to deal with But, remember this, he is not a completed project. Here's what the Bible says from the lips of a really good man, the Apostle Paul. He says, "for the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. 20 Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me" (Rom. 7:19-20). Here's some food for thought. When a real woman gets her hands on a real man she can take his rough edges and make something great with them. Peep into the White House right now and you will find Barack Obama. But, look again I say, and what you really should see is what Michelle can do with a hand full of rough edges! Be patient and prayerful with your man.

And, lastly always appeal to his manhood. A real man likes a real woman. There is something about a woman that makes him be what he was created to be when she is in his company. Sarah the matriarch of Abraham knew how to do this well. The Bible says that she "...obeyed Abraham, calling him lord..." (1 Pet. 3:6, KJV). In short, she had a real man and she knew what to do to appeal to his manhood. As a kid growing up we would play basketball all day long. But, when cute girls from the neighborhood showed up to watch us play we played like we was Kobe trying to win a championship for the first time without Shaq! Why? The presence of those girls appealed to our manhood (well manhood in training catch my drift?). In short, if you want a man to be a man you must treat him like a man. Which means this, a sister must be a lady! There's no room for two men in the relationship. If you want him to be what God made him, then you must be what God made you.

Celebrate Our Father with us this Father's Day! And remember, if you have real man in order to keep him you have to know how to handle him!

Your Friend and His Servant,

Dr. John R. Adolph, Pastor

Naughty By Nature!

My Dear Friends in the Faith:

Children can often be little angels. They are so sweet, cute, kind and kissable. But, a few moments of idle time and they can get into all kinds of mischief. They can take a clean room and make it look like it has been hit by a tornado. They can take a neat closet and literally create chaos. And, for goodness sakes do not let them anywhere near a toy rack of any kind. This spells trouble with a capital T! Yes, they are sweet but I guess you could say that they are just naughty by nature.

Well, if the truth were to be told, kids are not by themselves in this human predicament. Grown folks can get themselves into a mess too. Did you just say ouch? I'm sorry it must have been my toe that I stepped on. Let's be real for a moment. There are times when we can get ourselves caught up into things that we had no business in at all. We do things that we are ashamed of, we go places that our feet should have never trod, we say things that should have never fallen from our lips and we think thoughts that can sometimes require prayer, a day of fasting and re-baptism! Have you been there yet or is it just me? I hope that you said "yes!" Because if you did it means that you too are naughty by nature every now and then.

When you accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior, the Holy Ghost sets up residence in your soul. You start to discover that Jesus Christ is the greatest thing that's ever happened to you in your entire life. But, all of a sudden you have a rude awakening. You come to grips with the fact that your old you is still with you. So you end up trapped between the born again you and the old you that you thought you got rid of.

The Apostle Paul understood what it felt like to be naughty by nature when he wrote,

For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me. For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: but I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin (Romans 7:19-25, KJV).

Now if Paul was naughty then you know that there are times when we are too. There are times when we know better and we just don't do better. But, here's a good devotional question for you today, what do you do when you find yourself being naughty by nature?

First of all be real about the struggle. There are only two types of people who do not have any struggle at all. Those who are dead and those who are too crazy to admit the truth. The worse lie that you could ever tell is the one that you told yourself and then convinced yourself that it was true. Living holy is not always easy and there are days it can be a real struggle and the only way to deal with it is to be real about it. Paul puts it like this, "For the good that I would, I do not..." By this he means that my struggle is real but I still love Jesus Christ. Please hear this, if you conceal it, God will not heal it. But, if you are real with it, God will be real with you.

Secondly, be rugged in the battle. I read a church sign once that said "the enemy is the in-a-me!" It was so awesome I had to see it again because it was true. There is a battle going on and sometimes it is between my three closest friends, me, myself and I! Paul puts it on this wise, there is "warring against the law in my members..." The idea connotes that there are times when his soul is a battle ground between what he wants for himself and what God wants for him. Have you ever been there before? It happens when your flesh wants one thing but the Holy Spirit inside of you wants something greater for you. When this happens to you and it will, move out of God's way and let the Holy Spirit win the battle for you. No one celebrates losing, but if you let the Lord win within you it will be the one loss that you shout "thank you Jesus about!"

Thirdly, be ready to surrender. I once met a man who told me that he was tired of his struggle with alcohol. I realized that his heart was ready for a change and that God was going to do it. Many times when people get tired they desire to just quit. But, when you get tired remember this, your breakthrough is starring you in the face. Paul cries out "O wretched man that I am..." A much better translation of this would sound like this, "I am so sick and tired of myself right now that I could just scream!" When you get sick and tired (and you will) you will discover that God is tired of you being sick and healing is on the way. And besides all of that, being in custody after you surrender is not all that bad. You have the greatest care-taker in the world keeping you, Jesus Christ. Let me ask you a question, are you tired yet? If you are then surrender and let God fix what you cannot repair.

And, lastly be relieved by being thankful to God for the Savior. The nature of a thing, tells you what the thing is. For instance, a duck quacks, a dog barks and a pig walks and grunts. You get my drift? They do what comes naturally. And, this is why a Christian should always be thankful! Thank you should be as natural for a saint is barking is for a dog or swimming is for a fish. It is just a part of our new nature. Paul closes this argument by saying "I thank God for Jesus Christ." Why is he so thankful you asked? Because he has found a God who knows that he is naughty but died for him to have a new nature. A deity so sweet that He would help him through his private struggle and not give up on him at all. Paul has a Lord strong enough to take from him what he does not have enough sense to put down. And he has a God that is great enough to fight the battle for him and then let him carry the trophy home!

Yes children can get themselves into a mess. But, no good parent gets rid of them or throws them away. They simply keep them until they grow up and grow wiser. Yes, living holy can be difficult when we are naughty by nature, but if you let the Lord fight the battle you will win every single time!

Your Friend and His Servant,

Dr. John R. Adolph, Pastor

In The Mean Time!

My Dear Friends in the Faith:

Time. It is the greatest commodity known to human existence and people use it differently every single day. There are those who use time wisely. That is to say that they plan their work and they work their plan. Others lose tract of time while those who are bored and have nothing to do find ways to kill time. People are known for wasting time so large corporations spend millions each year training upper level management personnel on issues regarding time management.

Time. Chronometrically we can measure time. Seconds become minutes; minutes become hours; hours become days; days become weeks; weeks become months; months become years; years become decades; decades become centuries; and centuries become millenniums. And, within the scope of time we can conclude that time changes some things. In time, mansions can become shacks, people who were once strong become feeble and weak, and hair that was once black becomes gray and shapes that were once petite and cute become laced with love handles to hold on to.

Time. We even live in a culture where we have manmade devices that supposedly help us save time. You don't to mail letters any more you can fax it, email it or simply send a text message. We live in a generation that is able to wash the dishes, do the laundry, cook a roast and water the grass all at the same time so that we might have some time to spend with the family. You see, most people work full time, while others work part time, use sick time in the place of vacation time so that when it is time to take a vacation they have some time to take. And, there even points in your life when you're having a great time and time seemingly takes on the wings of an eagle. For it is then that you hear people say "Boy time surely flies!"

However, there is a place that God brings every believer. A place where it doesn't matter if you lose time, kill time, waste time, plan your time or use time unwisely. A place that I call the "mean time." Have you ever been there? It is that place where you are stuck between where you are and where you would like to be? It is the spot where you have a mountain behind you and you look up and realize that there is still yet a bigger hill to climb ahead of you. It is the place of promise, before the promise arrives. It is the haven of healing while sickness still prevails. It is the place of hope before help arrives. It is the site for your harvest before your fruit comes forth. It is the place of blessing before the blessing gets to you. It is the "mean time!"

You've been there haven't you? Don't feel lonely. That great preacher the Apostle Paul knows how you feel because he has been there too. He wanted to get to Rome to address the largest nation in the known world but he could not do it. So he too got caught in the "mean time." Here is what Paul says about the matter,

First, I thank my God through Jesus Christ for you all, that your faith is spoken of throughout the whole world. For God is my witness, whom I serve with my spirit in the gospel of his Son, that without ceasing I make mention of you always in my prayers; making request, if by any means now at length I might have a prosperous journey by the will of God to come unto you. For I long to see you, that I may impart unto you some spiritual gift, to the end ye may be established; that is, that I may be comforted together with you by the mutual faith both of you and me. Now I would not have you ignorant, brethren, that oftentimes I purposed to come unto you, (but was let hitherto,) that I might have some fruit among you also, even as among other Gentiles. I am debtor both to the Greeks, and to the Barbarians; both to the wise, and to the unwise. So, as much as in me is, I am ready to preach the gospel to you that are at Rome also (Romans 1:8-15, KJV).

It is my earnest prayer to God that there are those of you who are reading this devotional message right now that are trapped in the "mean time" and don't know what to do. The Word of God has the answer for you today! While we are in the "mean time" we will simply do what Paul did. If it worked for him it will work for you too! So what do we do in the "mean time?"

Be thankful! The first words out of Paul’s mouth are "First I thank my God..." Okay let's be honest for a moment. When you are trapped between where you are and where you want to be it can be a place filled with DIS. It can become a place where you are disappointed, discouraged, dismayed, and filled with discontent. It can become a sore spot where you are filled with dissatisfaction, disillusioned and even feel like you are disabled. It is a place where you can feel like you want to disband the faith and even drift into disbelief, because you cannot discern why this is happening to you and thus you become disgruntled in your walk with God. But if you are smart you would quickly disband thoughts like these and lift up your hands and bless the Lord! I dare you to do it. If you are in the between where you have come from and where you are headed bless God and say thank you for everything!!!

Continue to be faithful! Paul says, "I've heard about your faith......." This is actually a bit of sanctified sarcasm. What he's saying is very encouraging. He's saying I've heard about your faith, but let me see if the talk is really true. My friend please receive this today, faith in God is key to your victory in Jesus Christ. Faith in God opens doors that appear to be brick walls; faith in God heals the sick; faith in God dismisses demons; faith in God moves mountains; faith in God will look at an empty lot and see a house sitting there and the house is yours; faith in God restores broken families; faith in God will help you walk on water; and faith in God saves a lost soul! In short, when you get to the place where your faith is being tested show God that you can be trusted and be found faithful!

Be very prayerful! Paul says it clearly, "I'm praying for you." The irony of this is that he has just said that he has heard about their faith. Thus they were doing well, yet the Apostle says I'm praying for you. Here's why, if you are growing and getting stronger as a Christian the devil will do all that he can do to destroy and discourage you in the faith. When you find yourself between where you want to be and where you are right now here's what you need to know. There is warfare going on that the naked eye cannot see and the physical hand cannot touch and if you are going to be victorious in it you must know how to pray. What should you ask God for at a time like this? Ask God simply for the faith to stand like Job, a heart to rejoice like David and the wisdom of Solomon to know what to do and when you should do it. Hear this today for those who are in the "mean time" pray!

Be prepared to gain the spiritual! Paul says he has a spiritual gift for the believers. The spiritual gift mentioned in the passage above is one that will produce fruit. The only gift that produces fruit in the Bible is the seed of the Word of God! In short, when you are between being sick and being healed should expect a Word from the Lord! Have you ever been there before? Where you were between where you were and where you really wanted to be and God sent you a Word that was tailor made to fit your situation and your circumstances and it changed your entire life? If God did it then He will do it again! And if you know the Word like I do you do not have to wait on a sermon to get the Word that you need. Open your Bible and say "Lord show me which way to go! Tell me what to do! God guide me and I will follow you!" Remember this, when you need to hear from God most He will speak by way of His Word when you're in the "mean time!"

Be ready for the Gospel! Here's the best news of the day. He came, He lived, He blessed, He healed, He taught, He preached, He gave, He fed, He led, He died, He rose, and He is coming back!!! Okay, what does this mean to a person who is trapped in the "mean time?" It means that if your problem is not bigger than a dead Jesus, trapped behind a two ton rock, guarded by enemy soldiers our Father in heaven has already proven that He can handle it!!! It means that you have already won you just have to stay until the big dance is over.

You see my friends, God works in mysterious ways. He allows us moments in the "mean time" so that we will learn and know that when we are in the "mean time" He is in prime time! When you can't, He can. When they won't, He will. When they stop, He starts. And when it seems impossible God brings it to pass! If you are in the "mean time" hold on to your joy, keep the faith, serve the Lord, stay with the Word and know that you don't have to wait until it is over to bless God is thanksgiving. You can do that right now!

Your Friend and His Servant,

Dr. John R. Adolph, Pastor